Ada resep rahasia?

Di tengah kegaduhan kepalamu tertunduk
di saat yang lain riuh dengan dota-nya, terkikik-kikik dengan cerita temannya
kau sibuk dengan angka-angka limit, tabel fifo-lifo-average rate- dan pendapat-pendapat Geertz.

kau tampak begitu berbeda.
jadi seharusnya yang lain tak perlu berdecak kagum
ketika kau berturut-turut mendapat tempat di kursi paling terhormat
kau berlari sangat cepat. menyamai larimu butuh tenaga, pikiran, dan fokus yang ekstra. harus lebih ekstra darimu, barang sepersekian detik.

mengamatimu adalah hal termudah untuk dilakukan
kau gampang membocorkan rahasia gemilang pekerjaanmu
kau mudah ditebak, mudah diajak tertawa, mudah bercerita.

bertaruh dengan diri sendiri untuk mengalahkanmupun bisa saja.
membersamaimu, mengetahui cara-caramu, membaca gelagatmu,
sudah kulakukan.

tapi pasti ada yang salah!
kau punya resep rahasia yang mungkin tidak kau tunjukkan.
apa itu, apa itu, apa itu.
Oh aku sungguh ingin tahu...

Our world, yesterday and today.

Baru berselancar di blog dan notes notes lama milik sahabat-sahabat smp.
kemudian sadar tentang banyak hal. momen-momen yang dulu sama-sama dilakukan bareng temen sekelas. terlalu sesak akan hal indah :)
Ah, How I miss those moments.

dan seiring berjalannya waktu, semakin dewasa kita, semakin bertambah usia dan pengalaman, lingkungan yang berbeda, teman-teman yang kadang secara tidak langsung menuntut seperti ini- seperti itu, aku harus menyadari hal ini;

life must go on.
klise sekali. tapi memang seperti itu.

we shouldnt be mad if we found our friends change. because we did. we all did.

but I cant deny this, sometimes I hate being grown up.
I hate those paradigm : If you love someone, just say it! or you will lose your chance to make your dream comes true.."
Have a girlfriend or boyfriend is the only thing that makes us happy. even we had sooo many besties! selalu aja ada yang kurang.

dan aku selalu buru-buru keluar dari pikiran ini.
ini normal. this is the cycle of life. kita hanya ada di salah satu tahapnya.

and then when I found myself in this way, it was so amazing! how can I reach this place?
Oh, God. You are the Greatest..

Dunia boleh berubah, tapi kumohon persahabatan kita tidak.
I love you, Angob 2k8-2k9

Lagi.

dimana kau membeli resep bagaimana sabar dan ikhlas?
di saat segala usahamu terus gagal dan terlihat tak berguna.

dimana kau menemukan rahasia tentang cara menenangkan sesorang?
ketika kau sendiri mungkin sedang resah dan lelah.

lalu, bagaimana aku bisa menjadi seperti itu?

Compang-Camping

karena saat ikatan melemah,
saat keakraban kita merapuh
saat salam terus menyakitkan
saat kebersamaan serasa siksaan, saat pemberian bagai bara apai,
saat kebaikan justru melukai,

aku tahu,
yang rombeng bukan ukhuwah kita.
hanya iman-iman kita yang sedang sakit atau mengerdil.

mungkin dua-duanya, mungkin kau saja.
tentu terlalu terlebih sering,
imanku lah yang compang-camping.

(Salim A. Fillah- Dalam Dekapan Ukhuwah)

***

Time of Your Life - Green Day

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go

So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time

Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

---

one of application in facebook said that, this is the song which me-so.
hallo, trust in application like this is sooo last year -__-

ya, I dont know. but in some part, it describes me so well.
I mean, exactly describe what I have to do in this chance.

When you flow your hope to me..

It is not kind of unbelieve feeling, is it?
ya, just like both of you. I had my own dream. But somestimes it was so difficult to tell.
I prefer making a surprise to planning in front of you.

This is my fault. I let you dont understand about me. I'm
I'm not your other girl, I'm not your annoyingstudent. Please dont compare me.

I want to live my life to the absolute fullest
To open my eyes to be all I can be

To travel roads not taken, to meet faces unknown

To feel the wind, to touch the stars
I promise to discover myself
To stand tall with greatness
To chase down and catch every dream

LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE

(ga nyambung eh--?)

Hey hey you Mom and Dad.
Lets see how I can make my dreams become true!
I just love you so deep...

Thingking about Give Up

Today I found my self in the same place few weeks ago.
Again, asking the same questions : Why I have to feel sorrow to do this guidance?
, why I have to feel such pain, just for usual thing?, why I try hard to find all the way to make her back?

Oh. This is confusing and lil'hurts.
till I got into the tired-of-useless-guidance point.

I've tried.

Don't be sad, I still with you.
However this is not my-time anymore. I let the stronger bestfriends do that for you.
Calm down, I'm gonna always behind you. never let you fall.